From This Moment On...

For three hours straight, I have been sobbing, heartbroken that I could have refused God such a small sacrifice as a friendship. Rev. Richard Wurmbrand’s Tortured for Christ recounts his story of persecution in communist Romania during the 40’s and 50’s. “A man really believes, not what he recites in his creed, but only the things he is ready to die for.” True Christianity is being willing to die for Christ, in ANY way that is asked.

These true stories made me cry and have deeply convinced me, in every way, shape and form, that Christ is the only one who can give me strength to get through my life, and only He is worth dying for.

Wurmbrand relates that the people behind the Iron Curtain were desperate for Christianity. Thousands who only heard a few verses or read a single tract about Christ were so convinced, that they were willing to be thrown into prison for their belief. “The prisons were full, and in Romania, as in all Communist countries, to be in prison means to be tortured.” These Christians, some of whom had only ever heard Christ’s name, were willing to be tortured for His sake.

“A pastor, by the name of Florescu, was tortured with red-hot iron pokers and with knives. He was beaten very badly. Then starving rats were driven into his cell through a large pipe. He could not sleep because he had to defend himself all the time. If he rested a moment, the rats would attack him.
He was forced to stand for two weeks, day and night. The Communists wished to compel him to betray his brethren, but he resisted steadfastly. Eventually, they brought his fourteen-year-old son to the prison and began to whip the boy in front of his father, saying they would continue to beat him until the pastor said what they wished him to say. The poor man was half mad. He bore it as long as he could, then he cried to his son, “Alexander, I must say what they want! I can’t bear your beating anymore!” The son answered, “Father, don’t do me the injustice of having a traitor as a parent. Withstand! If they kill me, I will die with the words, ‘Jesus and my fatherland.’” The Communists, enraged, fell upon the child and beat him to death. He died praising God.” (Tortured for Christ, pg. 34)

How great a faith this young man had!! He was four years younger than me and he willingly, joyfully sacrificed his life for the sake of Christ!! Before I started reading this book, I felt insufficient to the task in front of me. But now, all I feel is complete and total shame. The farce of what I had been telling myself is revealed. Those Christians and those who are giving their lives in the same ways today were given the strength to continue, even to the point of death. What a great sin it would be, to give up because I felt insufficient or weak.

Since the relationship God is demanding I give up is with a guy, it is only fitting I include this story. I cried for a long time over this. I pray, oh, how fervently I pray, that God will give me a similar faith and a passion for Him.

“One of our workers in the Underground Church was a young girl. The Communist police discovered that she secretly spread gospels and taught children about Christ. They decided to arrest her. But to make the arrest as agonizing and painful as they could, they decided to delay her arrest a few weeks, until the day she was to be married. On her wedding day, the girl was dressed as a bride-the most wonderful, joyous day in a girl’s life! Suddenly the door burst open and the secret police rushed in.
When the bride saw the secret police, she held out her arms toward them to be handcuffed. They roughly put the manacles on her wrists. She looked toward her beloved, kissed the chains, and said, ‘I thank my heavenly Bridegroom for this jewel He has presented me on my marriage day. I thank Him that I am worthy to suffer for Him.’ She was dragged off, with weeping Christians and a weeping bridegroom left behind. They knew what happens to young Christian girls in the hands of Communist guards. Her bridegroom faithfully waited for her. After five years, she was released-a destroyed, broken woman, looking thirty years older. She said it was the least she could do for her Christ.” (Tortured for Christ, pg. 37, 38)

Am I willing to suffer like this? I know that I could never face such great physical torment, with joy, without the Lord’s mercy and grace. But love for Christ, true Christianity, must be the kind that causes us to say, “If He asked it of me, I WOULD say ‘yes,’ and leave the rest of it up to Him.” I have come to realize, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there is no point in calling myself a Christian if I do not have this attitude. In fact, it would be like spitting in the face of all the Christians who every single day of their lives get up and face this kind of a life, for Christ.

If I call themself a Christian but do not act as Christ did, and obey everything Christ says, I am like a “white-washed tomb.” Yes, even though I am deeply ashamed to admit it, I was living like that.

Christ came and died, an innocent lamb, slaughtered to atone for my sins. He asks that, in return for His sacrifice, I deny myself, take up my cross (every single day) and follow Him. To do short of that, is NOT Christianity.

This is my public apology to Christ for not obeying His commands and calling myself a Christian, when inside I was keeping something for myself instead of being 100% surrended to Christ. This is also my public proclamation that from this moment on, with everything that is in me, I will serve the Lord. But like Rev. Wurmbrand said, “A man really believes, not what he recites in his creed, but only the things he is ready to die for.” It doesn’t matter what I say, here in this blog or anywhere else, what matters is what I do.

For I am judged by my actions and there are only two places to spend eternity: heaven or hell. I want to go to heaven.