What is my reality?

I don't feel like a slacker anymore, because I am working for my uncle again, out in OR City. I basically do a lot of repetitive stuff, like stapling airplane ribs. So I have a lot of time to think, once I have my groove down. I guess the biggest thing I have been struggling with this past week has been staying in reality about everything- about the trials in my life (which are few) and the blessings (which are many.)

Reality for me is whatever God wants it to be. What is reality for, say, the people I worked with at the pool, isn't necesarily reality for me. I mean, it didn't make sense to any of them, really, when I quit my job at a moment's notice. It doesn't make sense to people when I tell them, bluntly, that I can't really be in contact with them anymore. It doesn't make sense that I would purposely break my cell phone, so it doesn't distract me from my reality. I think when we start demanding reasons from God, that is when we have left the true Christian path of blind faith. God can see the big picture, therefore, hardly anything He does makes "sense" to us humans.

What is the big picture? We use that term a lot but what do we mean by it? I suppose the big picture is all the puzzle pieces that our human minds can't comprehend all at once, formed to make a puzzle. That didn't help did it? That's because you can't fully understand exactly what I am getting at without being in my head. THAT is the "big picture". We can't fully understand God's motives and reasons for all the seemingly bizarre things He asks us to do without being God, and we are never going to be that. So, we have to live in blind faith.

(I don't know if that helped you at all. I guess it doesn't have to, entirely, because I am writing this as much for me as I am for you.)

Another thing for you to contemplate: "No man is a fool who gives up what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose." (Jim Elliot) I couldn't keep my job forever. I can't keep a friendship for the rest of my life. I can't keep anything that is physical. It would be foolish of me to try. All things that are "ours" are ours from the Lord. But, God is sometimes an "indian giver." He loans us things to take care of but not always forever. We can't get mad at Him when He takes back what is rightfully His!! The only way to prevent heartbreak when God takes things away from us (always in our best interest, mind you!) is to not cling to them. It really is that simple. So my new plan of attack is this: whenever I make a new friend, or grow closer to old ones, I do it with open hands, (and same with anything physical.) In the past, I held onto things that were dear to me with white-knuckled fists; therefore, it hurt when God ripped them away from me. Now, I say, "Thank You, Lord, for this blessing. I only desire what You want for me, Lord, so if this isn't Your will, I will obey and be content in the knowledge that You know best." When we do this, we "gain what we cannot lose:" eternal life. This is God's promise to us.