Sunday, February 20, 2005

Regarding My Potential for Insanity

This weekend I am going to go on a trip on my uncle's retired 80-foot fishing boat, that someone donated to him. It is going to be a two-day voyage and I am regarding it with apprehension. There are going to be 10 people (5 of whom are full-grown males which doubles the space they consume) onboard, most likely two video cameras and several still cameras.

The reason I mention the cameras is just because they seem to detract from what little space is going to be on the boat. I, myself, am going to be behind one of the cameras and I plan to burn up rolls of film, for practice I guess. I think that two days is ample time to use up at least 5 rolls for an avid photographer, don't you?

I am also regarding it nervously because the last trip we went on which was only a hour and a half long, I got thoroughly soaked which ruined the trip. So I plan to bring two jackets, 4 pairs of pants and 4 pairs of shirts, two for each day. Oh and as many socks as will fit in my spacious backpack.

The other problem is that there is no working bathroom which is bad. But I suppose I will fast all day and that will solve that problem.

I am going to work on my self-control because on such a little boat (well it seems little for so many people and for so long) I will naturally tend to go crazy, absolutely "postal" as my cousins say. In order to avoid this I will spend a lot of time on the roof of the boat's house (which is the crowded shelter that has the galley, the crew quarters, the captain's stateroom {which is no bigger than my bed!!!} and the bridge), and an equal amount of time on the deck and a short time below in the engine room. So if anyone is looking for me during the trip, I will be either there, there, or down there. :)

Allow me to explain why I would EVER want to be in the engine room (not to mention that the engine is emblazoned with the unlucky words "K-19".) Well, it is really loud and there are lots of harmful fumes because the engine kind of leaks but it is SO luxuriously warm down in the "hole." Also, I can be sure that I will get privacy down there!! I spent 15 minutes down there on our last trip and it was only 1 1/2 hours long. (Maybe that is why I kind of went crazy towards the end.)

So that's my plan for the trip. It probably won't turn out this way. I don't think it will be a pleasure cruise because someone mentioned that my uncle was bringing sanders and paint so we could de-rust the boat's house and paint it.

Well, I will be sure to tell you how it goes when I get back. (Although, maybe my psychiatric therapist (since I will probably need one when this is over) may tell me it would be too painful for me to look back on the trauma of this coming weekend.)

Bon voyage to all you who are (luckily) staying home with running toilets, spacious homes, and comfortable beds. Send me a postcard!!!

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This is a disclaimer in case Uncle John reads this:

I AM looking forward to this trip. It will test my mettle. I am mostly a brave person. I can handle it for YOU, my precious uncle!!!

(Hahahahahaha!!!!!)

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